The Week that was

I’ve subscribed to The Week for the past couple of years.  It gives me a great summary of all the week’s coming and goings, important news stories from across the world, latest developments in Science, what’s hot in art, books, travel , what to look out for at auction and a two page spread of houses I can only lust over as it’s highly unlikely I will ever win Lotto.

The culinary section has given me information about new and emerging restaurants across the country, and those whose doors I should never darken.

I’ve learnt a great deal from the ‘wit and wisdom’ quotes that command a full column every week. I now know:

                 Life itself is a universally fatal sexually transmitted disease

                          (Professor  Petr Skrabanek, quoted in the Guardian, quoted in The Week)

                A true friend stabs you in the front

                         (Oscar Wilde quoted in the Spectator Australia quoted in The Week)

               People who live in a golden age usually go around complaining how yellow everything looks

                         (Author Randall Jarrell quoted in the Sydney Morning Herald, quoted in The Week)

I even get a snippet of celebrity gossip. For example in the 14 September edition, Russell Crow had been rescued by the US Coast Guard after losing his bearings while out kayaking with a friend.  Ironically he is currently acting the lead in a production of Noah’s Ark.

The Week covers sports, so I can get all the scandals and intrigues about dope cheats, football thuggery and who has been sacked/employed as a coach for the coming week. It provides business trends and advice. It saves me buying five different newspapers and having to watch what passes for news on TV.

 It’s an all round compact snapshot that helps keep me in touch with the world – an idiot’s guide to keeping abreast of things.

I even picked up a UK version at Heathrow in June.

This year I’ve been able to read The Week digitally via an email, but I resist so that I can be surprised by the content of the paper copy that turns up in my mail box at the start of the week.  

That is up until today, when out of the blue I got an email saying they are no longer producing an Australian version and that the one that was produced and I received during the week is the last edition. 

They tell me:

 You will be contacted at a future date regarding your subscription and we would appreciate your patience and understanding until then.

Patient?

Understanding?

Now I will never know the answers to Mungo’s crossword No 199 clues:

10 letter word for: Rowed small boat, we hear, with fish – and petting.

6 letter word for: You old people, I am from Aden.

You would think they'd have let Mongo get to No 200 at least.

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Update (Blog post October 7: Straightforward, simple, fair): 

For those who may have been curious about the outcome of my endeavours to access $30.76 cited previously, I can provide an update.

On Friday  I received two separate letters from the company. The first asked me for the information I had not provided (ie the 4 page application form and documents) and that if they did not hear from me in the next ten days they would begin to deduct charges from the account.

The second one (postmarked and signed the same day) was a letter advising my benefit was being paid and came with a four page dissertation about what that meant. Most importantly: it had the cheque and I did not have to fill in copious forms.

Sense at last.

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This week's art work

New drawing for your perusal.

Boab Broome. Ink on paper 560 x 760 mm

Straightforward, simple, fair.

I’d like to have a dollar for every staff day that government departments, businesses and corporations have devoted to arriving at a mission statement, a set of core values, or a punchy statement that tells the world what they are all about.

The end product is often aspirational and inspirational in thought, and apparitional and aberrational in practice.  

Everyone matters is a case in point. 

I thought  straightforward. simple. fair.  was pretty good - to the point, clear, pared away capitals suggesting the business  did not stand on ceremony, convention or red tape.

Well, wasn’t I mistaken? 

I held an account with this particular business up until January of 2011. I hadn’t heard from them since I closed it. That is until 10 days ago when I received a very bulky letter in which they indicated they had underpaid me by $30.76.  The letter outlined the process by which I could remedy the situation, and the appropriate forms to use.

Here is my response. 

Dear  xxxxx

I have to think the letter I recently received from you is a joke. 

Are you seriously informing me that:

·         you have opened a new account for me – something I cannot do without providing 100 points of ID, and that you have deposited the underpaid amount you owe me into this account?

·         I have to fill in a four page application form to close the account and access my funds?

·           I need to get documentary and verified proof of my identity up to a total of 100 points in order to close the account?

·         I am required to do all this (and so are you) for an amount of $30.76?

·         If I fail to act by October 31 I will be charged administration fees on the account?

Is this bureaucracy gone mad?

Surely you could simply send me a cheque, or ask for my bank deposit details (which you previously had anyway) so the amount could be directly re-credited.  And having opened an account for me – without my permission- you could equally now close it and save me all this hassle.

I will look for my cheque in the mail.

And what response did I get? 

A letter that simply says:

 Here is the application form (to close your account) as requested. 

Now I know every business has its own jargon, but I can’t for the life of me find anything in my original letter to them which asks for another copy of the form they sent in the first place. 

straightforward. simple. fair . I don’t think so.

I can see we are in for a lengthy period of correspondence.

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This week's art work.

Spartacus is off with her sister Brutus to the Raglan Gallery in Cooma for the Briscoe Exhibition http://raglangallery.org.au/

Spartacus. Acrylic on canvas 

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