Guest Post – Nobody Polls Me Either

 And a work from my guest blogger:  Nobody Polls Me Either

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I live in what the media keep saying is the most marginal seat in NSW, if not Australia and possibly the whole world. That’s the seat of Greenway in case you hadn’t worked it out from all the media hype our electorate is getting at the moment.

If it wasn’t bad enough that our local member was allegedly denied a pair by the Liberal party to look after her crook baby, now we have the local liberal candidate acting like an arrogant so and so. 6 minutes of agony when being interviewed by Channel Ten has led me to reflect on my vote and how the potential candidates can court it. And court it the media keeps saying that’s what will happen to those of us living here, we will decide the election, apparently. So, in anticipation of the floods of candidates expected to arrive on my doorstep to seek out my opinion and represent my wishes to the nation, I have begun to devise a way to engage with the process rather than run and hide for the next five weeks.

To being with, I expect all visits to take place when I am at work, or out doing my weekend thing, so the percentage possibility of me actually being home when the door knocking is going on is about 5%. So, to still be able to engage with the process, I have devised a couple of possibilities so far:

• 1.       Staple MY 6 point plan to the front  door and ask any visitors to sign up to my plan – if you can agree with me, maybe I can agree with you? You know, give a little...Point One: Be excellent to each other. Point Two: There is no fate but what you make. Points three to six are still being workshopped...
• 2.       Place a slip of paper at the front door and a box saying “Explain in 25 words or less, why I should vote for you. Place completed entry form in the competition box”
• 3.       Institute a border control policy and just ban them entirely from my property, if they come here, it will be on my terms, and they will be processed offshore on the footpath, never allowed to settle on my property again in the future, ever.

I drive to work, so the chances of me encountering a pollie at the train or bus station is zero, and they just put the speed limit up on the M2 to 100km per hour, so I wont be noticing any advertising as I’m zipping along reflecting on the $6.05 I’m paying for the privilege of having no train line , at which I could have met you...

At the shops I actively avoid engaging with the local spruiker for whatever it is they are selling, so if I look up a bit more and scan around I may potentially see a pollie in waiting. I rate this possibility however pretty low, there’s a lot of shops in this electorate, and I’m not there very much. Percentage possibility: 5%

So, day one of the election campaign, I’m trying not to be cynical, trying to engage, but so far, the best I can come up with is taking the piss at my front door. So perhaps that’s the way, laugh – cause if I don’t I might just bloody well cry.