Phatic noise

It is my habit to turn on the radio as soon as I rise in the mornings. When I was in full time work it was always local ABC – listening for anything that would divert our attentions from the defined day’s work.  In semi-retirement I switched to Radio National breathing a sign that I would no longer be bombarded with the minutiae of stories about un-mowed school ovals, closed gates, school students being refused service at the local shops, or yet another debate about dress code.

RN  gives me a good sweep of national and international events – but I am seriously considering cutting the broadcast for the next five weeks and simply reverting to reading the news on my phone, or hanging out in a cave somewhere that  has no electricity or internet service– at least there I can avoid the burgeoning diatribe that is shaping up as election campaigning.

All that shouting, pontificating, name calling, jingoistic, phatic noise that does nothing but obfuscate the landscape,  is just more than I can bear at 6:30 in the morning. Oh for the squawking birds that fly in and out of the neighbour’s gum tree making an unbelievable racket.

And if I cut off the radio, I am certain I still won’t be polled. The tally this end is that my teenage granddaughter has been polled twice in the last few weeks – even though she is ineligible to vote, and my friend has clocked up two opportunities to have her say.  Ok: the ABC did invite me to contribute to their online poll Vote Compass, but that hardly counts as it was a request to the whole nation- or anyone who was watching the telly at the time!

So what I’d like is to see policy: in black and white, that I can print out and read and that doesn’t come with continual dissection, commentary, and opinion pieces that assume I am too thick to make up my own mind. And I want a quiet peaceful place in which to read it; and a cohort of informed friends who are prepared to discuss what we think of it all, and which, if any, benefits the future of our country rather than the future of a political party.

I’ve been doing some polling of my own  lately, talking to amazing young people about how they contribute to their communities and what they get from the experience. The honesty of their conversation, the delight they display about doing something for others, the intelligence and reflection in their responses, their capacity to cogently articulate their views and commitments,  and their integrity, are mind blowing.  

I remember why I loved being a teacher.

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Art Work of the Week 

One of those squawking birds

Kioloa Tweet. Acrylic on canvas

Can I push this polling?

While the morning was trying to climb above the zero degree mark,  I was motoring down the Highway for an early morning start at my part-time job where my workmates speak tweet and I speak encyclopaedic. I sometimes think I am the bike riding, power station loving character on New Tricks.

I was daydreaming about the 30+ temperatures and humidity I will experience in Hanoi next week but was abruptly bought back to reality by my Radio National driving companion. Craig Emerson was in the spotlight making it plain that he had no book of protocols from which he was speaking, and if the listener wanted they could bring their camera around to his side of the desk and check it out. Oh, such fascinating pollie comedy so early in the morning!

His point was about polls. His claim: everyone does polls – news polls, social polls, lobby group polls, factional polls, secret polls…so the list went on. And while he didn’t quote: the only poll that counts is the one at the voting booth on election day, he couldn't miss the golden opportunity  to reference cutting to the bone and citing events in Queensland as indicative of what might happen should Labor be unsuccessful at the poll that counts.

Now, I’ve been doing research lately and developing and analysing survey results is becoming a specialty. So I thought it might be a good idea to develop my own poll and send it out – since nobody polls me - ever (sic. the name of this blog!). 

Here are some sample questions:

1. Have you or a member of your family past or present come to Australia as a result of famine, political persecution, war, or because you/they were sentenced for the term of your/their natural life?

                                    Yes                         No

         If Yes: you are a refugee and you may need to invest in a lifebuoy

         If No: you may need to check ancestry.com

2. Would you prefer our future Prime Minister to be:

a: a redhead

b: a budgie smuggler

        If a) you may have to buy an I love Pauline shirt from your local fish and chip shop

        If b) you may want to start filling out your NZ citizenship application now.

3. What are your priorities for the nation?

         a) Subsidising multi-nationals so they can eventually close their production in Australia when  it              becomes non-profitable to continue.

         b) Ensuring that you personally help each politician get elected in September as you don’t like to see Aussies lose their jobs. Who cares about the public servants who are out to lunch.

        c) Reducing wages so that big mining companies can make bigger profits. Gina we love you.

        d) Rolling back and repealing any laws made in the last 40 years so that we are once again that grand and glorious society so wonderfully depicted in Mad Men .

       e) Guaranteeing funding for political parties so that they can promote themselves for nine months before every election. Give me more Bob Katter.

       f) Seeing more of Tom Waterhouse on TV because he knows what you want.

       g) Government take-over of the media because we all know that only government knows what is good for us to see and hear.

       h) Returning to teaching the three R’s because children can’t read or write or spell or add or calculate or do anything worth while really. And for that matter, get rid of calculators, mobile phones  and computers too.

       i) Cutting even more funding to universities because they just encourage dissenters and time wasters – get a real job.

       j) Introducing even more gruesome adds on TV that show people dying, wheezing, gasping, being trapped in coffins, or having nicotine squeezed out of their essential organs, so that even though you are a non-smoker you need to be constantly reminded about your own mortality.  

     k) Returning respect for the clergy. Heaven knows they have earned it.

     l) Cutting down all camphor laurel trees and floating them adrift since they are illegal arrivals and need to be severed before they kill all the pigeons in Lismore.

OK, that last choice is silly, but I swear someone made that argument to me in a letter once when they were writing to complain about the proliferation of such trees in school yards in Northern NSW.

When I have all my questions sorted - and I take your point that 12 options is just too many in Question 3 - I’ll give you the link to Survey Monkey and you can fill it in. 

Do you think my careful analysis and report on the data will get front page coverage in the national press?

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Art Work of the Week

I looked for something to go with todays theme and the best I could do was a a painting that is made up of squares...just like my tick boxes will look when my survey is finished!

Carol's rocks. Assemblage of  small acrylic paintings on canvas (detail)

  

Never too old to learn

Never too old to learn

I’m amazed how much you can learn from television. I’m in the middle of a very detailed drawing that it taking years (or so it seems) to complete. I have the TV on for background noise. Normally I don’t turn it on before midday, but I did today, and boy, what have I been missing.

Today I’ve learned that my hair will prematurely age if I don’t use the right products. 

Now I have recently listened to the science show on Radio National (or the more cool RN if you will) and there is some scientific argument that says as parts of the body are formed and born milliseconds before others, we are not the same age all over…interesting thought, but not what I think my TV hairstylist was trying to demonstrate.

In addition, I have seen the Hoover vacuum salesman that came to our door when I was a child. With a houseproud mother who swept the yard, inspecting  the contents of the vacuum bag after it had been over the apparently cleaned floor was just too much to bear. We ordered immediately. Today I can buy a Shark mop which steam cleans everything – using both sides no less-  wiping away any vestige or wear, tear, dirt and grime- I wonder how it would go on my face?

Instead of the dirt being tipped out on to paper to prove how much stuff it removes, in the new techno age you shine an  ultra violet light and it shows the left behinds as little blue sparkly bits.  I’m amazed I have not died of some residual bug that has been living unnoticed in my floors and carpets forever.  

But the worst is that no matter what the product , the promoters are soooo excited and enthusiastic about it that it sounds as though the inventor has found a cure for poverty and famine.

I’m not going out (or ringing up) to buy any of this stuff. Is there something wrong with me?

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 Today's Art work

This is not the picture I am currently working on, but it's an example of the style. 

Unfortunately this one went to God in an accident at the Canberra Outdoor Art Show earlier in the year.

It was a pen and ink drawing on paper (760 x 560mm)