Straightforward, simple, fair.

I’d like to have a dollar for every staff day that government departments, businesses and corporations have devoted to arriving at a mission statement, a set of core values, or a punchy statement that tells the world what they are all about.

The end product is often aspirational and inspirational in thought, and apparitional and aberrational in practice.  

Everyone matters is a case in point. 

I thought  straightforward. simple. fair.  was pretty good - to the point, clear, pared away capitals suggesting the business  did not stand on ceremony, convention or red tape.

Well, wasn’t I mistaken? 

I held an account with this particular business up until January of 2011. I hadn’t heard from them since I closed it. That is until 10 days ago when I received a very bulky letter in which they indicated they had underpaid me by $30.76.  The letter outlined the process by which I could remedy the situation, and the appropriate forms to use.

Here is my response. 

Dear  xxxxx

I have to think the letter I recently received from you is a joke. 

Are you seriously informing me that:

·         you have opened a new account for me – something I cannot do without providing 100 points of ID, and that you have deposited the underpaid amount you owe me into this account?

·         I have to fill in a four page application form to close the account and access my funds?

·           I need to get documentary and verified proof of my identity up to a total of 100 points in order to close the account?

·         I am required to do all this (and so are you) for an amount of $30.76?

·         If I fail to act by October 31 I will be charged administration fees on the account?

Is this bureaucracy gone mad?

Surely you could simply send me a cheque, or ask for my bank deposit details (which you previously had anyway) so the amount could be directly re-credited.  And having opened an account for me – without my permission- you could equally now close it and save me all this hassle.

I will look for my cheque in the mail.

And what response did I get? 

A letter that simply says:

 Here is the application form (to close your account) as requested. 

Now I know every business has its own jargon, but I can’t for the life of me find anything in my original letter to them which asks for another copy of the form they sent in the first place. 

straightforward. simple. fair . I don’t think so.

I can see we are in for a lengthy period of correspondence.

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This week's art work.

Spartacus is off with her sister Brutus to the Raglan Gallery in Cooma for the Briscoe Exhibition http://raglangallery.org.au/

Spartacus. Acrylic on canvas 

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