Frosty Spring morning

Frosty Spring morning
Showing posts with label over 50's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label over 50's. Show all posts

Sunday, 21 October 2012

The Week that was




I’ve subscribed to The Week for the past couple of years.  It gives me a great summary of all the week’s coming and goings, important news stories from across the world, latest developments in Science, what’s hot in art, books, travel , what to look out for at auction and a two page spread of houses I can only lust over as it’s highly unlikely I will ever win Lotto.

The culinary section has given me information about new and emerging restaurants across the country, and those whose doors I should never darken.

I’ve learnt a great deal from the ‘wit and wisdom’ quotes that command a full column every week. I now know:

                 Life itself is a universally fatal sexually transmitted disease
                          (Professor  Petr Skrabanek, quoted in the Guardian, quoted in The Week)

                A true friend stabs you in the front
                         (Oscar Wilde quoted in the Spectator Australia quoted in The Week)

               People who live in a golden age usually go around complaining how yellow everything looks
                         (Author Randall Jarrell quoted in the Sydney Morning Herald, quoted in The Week)


I even get a snippet of celebrity gossip. For example in the 14 September edition, Russell Crow had been rescued by the US Coast Guard after losing his bearings while out kayaking with a friend.  Ironically he is currently acting the lead in a production of Noah’s Ark.

The Week covers sports, so I can get all the scandals and intrigues about dope cheats, football thuggery and who has been sacked/employed as a coach for the coming week. It provides business trends and advice. It saves me buying five different newspapers and having to watch what passes for news on TV.

 It’s an all round compact snapshot that helps keep me in touch with the world – an idiot’s guide to keeping abreast of things.

I even picked up a UK version at Heathrow in June.

This year I’ve been able to read The Week digitally via an email, but I resist so that I can be surprised by the content of the paper copy that turns up in my mail box at the start of the week.  

That is up until today, when out of the blue I got an email saying they are no longer producing an Australian version and that the one that was produced and I received during the week is the last edition. 

They tell me:

 You will be contacted at a future date regarding your subscription and we would appreciate your patience and understanding until then.

Patient?

Understanding?

Now I will never know the answers to Mungo’s crossword No 199 clues:

10 letter word for: Rowed small boat, we hear, with fish – and petting.
6 letter word for: You old people, I am from Aden.

You would think they'd have let Mongo get to No 200 at least.

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Update (Blog post October 7: Straightforward, simple, fair): 

For those who may have been curious about the outcome of my endeavours to access $30.76 cited previously, I can provide an update.

On Friday  I received two separate letters from the company. The first asked me for the information I had not provided (ie the 4 page application form and documents) and that if they did not hear from me in the next ten days they would begin to deduct charges from the account.

The second one (postmarked and signed the same day) was a letter advising my benefit was being paid and came with a four page dissertation about what that meant. Most importantly: it had the cheque and I did not have to fill in copious forms.

Sense at last.
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This week's art work
New drawing for your perusal.



Boab Broome. Ink on paper 560 x 760 mm

Sunday, 23 September 2012

Don’t even think about buying me a bidet for my Birthday




I have the best hairdresser in the world. I walk in, he transforms me from frumpy grey-rooted granny to funky fashion goddess – well, I may be exaggerating.

 He asks:
 What we are doing today.
I respond:
Whatever you like

He knows I want to be able to see that my hair has been coloured and primped. On any visit I can come out with highlights/streaks/foils of anything from vibrant reds and purples to ginger or blonde.
You can tell me I’m too old for that stuff, but I say: Bah! Humbug! 

And the champagne that comes with the cutting and styling is much better than the crappy machine coffee that I used to get at the local shop down the road.  I lay back in the massage chair and drift away.  Gosssip costs me, but it’s worth it.

This is where I also get my bi-monthly dose of trash. I flick through the salon magazines looking at glamorous apparently famous people, their bouncing babies, bodacious beaus, tantalising toyboys, sizzling six packs, nauseating nips and tucks, botoxed face masks,  beestung  lips, bazookered breasts, booty blow outs and six foot handbags/manbags.

I know that nothing I read or see here is remotely true. It’s fantasy land in glitzy gowns set in glamorous gardens.

But today I found a rogue magazine that had sneaked in to the pile.  It has an article that takes the cake.
It’s headed The BEST present ever and I quote Sylvia Ross’ words:

Usually every mother’s day my children buy me stockings or pillows, but this year they surprised me totally. I came home and found that they had changed my toilet seat…..I simply press a button and I get a warm water wash and a warm air dry. Now my toileting is a time of luxury, it is the best mother’s day present I have every got.

If I started to tell you how I would rather my nether parts were warmed, this post would be x- rated.

It’s my Birthday this week and if anyone changes my toilet seat for one that washes and dries they can expect to be told to bugger off.

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This week's art works

These are details from a series of drawings related to a number of months in 2011.

If I did one for this month it would have the champagne bottles for celebrations and commiserations.


A Few Days in March







A Few Days In July
  The original drawings can be seen in full at:

http://www.thickerthanwater.com.au/index.php?option=com_zoo&task=category&category_id=3&Itemid=223&page=3